(Caution: Reader Discretion is Recommended. Extreme Inappropriate Repulsive Languages in what you’re about to read. Read at your own Will.)

Ok, so you’re out on a Friday night, interacting with lots of chicks, having a total blast, your vitality is pumped, your state is so high, you never feel more alive…and then all of a sudden some jerk approaches you and calls you “stupid”, “loser”, “pathetic”, etc.

Your heart misses a note, your physique begins to boil up, you ear stings “Oh no, I did not just hear that!” Your initial reaction is that you are prepared to knock this dude out KO. … or either you’re having difficulty coming up a quick-witted response to attack him back, and so just stay there with crickets heard in the distance till it is too late.

If you’ve ever encountered a fight on a night out, it would commonly proceed something similar to this:

The first person would say “Screw you!”. The second dude would then say “Screw you motherscrewer, I’m gonna screw you up!” right back, and the other fellow would return “Screw you!” repeatedly. This never ending “Screw-You Fight” gets admittedly immature and pity and even humorous after time.

They can think of anything else to say besides “Screw You!” to spar the other person with. That is their reptilian-brain taking over instead of taking a step back using their higher thinking neocortex-brain to generate responses.

I’ve been getting questions regarding how to handle insults and offensive verbal bullies that can happen whenever you go out because other insecure guys will be threatened by your presence to the girls they have eyes on, but fear not, after today you will acquire some lethal strategies to take care of these kinds of people.

I’ll be honest with you…I was messed with a lot when I was younger, and I pondered about this like a mad scientist and resulted in having effective easy “social structures” to be used over and over again.

You will have a lethal bag of tricks against these types of people who messed with you, but never use them for evil.

Therefore, I’d like to devote today’s lesson exclusively to “the Art of Conversational-Combat Jujitsu” training.

Prepare yourself on the combat floor for you will get an instant black belt today!

When somebody does verbally attack you, the simple social structures are very effective in breaking them down.

Most people would tell you to just simply ignore it, like it is no big deal, and that is what they told you back in grade school, and that is ok; however, the attacker will not necessarily stop the attacks in the future.

You can ignore them, but I challenge you to social experiment, in addition, putting these folks in their place give you a sense of victory.

If anything else, go with the flow, and never get defensive and succumb to their frame.

The frame you want to come from is, “How can I make the attacker look pathetic because of his action?”

When meeting girls, there will be people mess up your game, and you have to know and be prepared to defend yourself that returns their own aggression back on them to make them be the idiots they set themselves out to be.

A reflection attack, similar Aikido, the form of martial arts where you divert your perpetrator’s energy attack right back on them. Reverse and reflect the abuse back on them so you’re not the overaggressive, testosterone-fueled perpetrator.

How come?

Ever notice how in a fight, whoever is the individual (Person A) getting bruised up by the other (Person B) is always perceived as the victim and your knee-jerk instinct is to just step in to help that Person A who is getting torn up by Person B, even though it probably never occurred to you that Person A could be the one who harmed Person B to start with, but it’s just that Person B is better at physical confrontations, furthermore Person A is playing the “victim’s card” to play on spectators’ sympathy to bruise Person B.

Unfair isn’t it?.

This situation happens a lot with girls.

A guy punches a girl, and then violence erupts for that guy as all the surrounding guys jump in and will bash the life out of that attacker who punched that girl, even though she could have done something to him first.

The victom’s card is at played.

That’s why we want to divert the damage created by the attacker back on them to make them the fool that they set out to cause you to be; and you’re noble enough to discard the victim’s card

The key is to focus on them and the things they are saying conveys about them, INSTEAD OF on what they’re actually say.

Example:
“What’s with the messy hair? You need to get a haircut.”

“Somebody seems to have hair-problem.”

Candidly, this is not something I prefer to do because I rather have the guy as a potential good friend and possibly add him to my social entourage, but there are times when you have to abandon diplomacy.

So here are the tricks of the trade. Remember always accompany these with a smile.

Some of my automatic default blunt responses would be “Cool”, “I know”, “That’s awesome”.

And now to guide you generating unique responses every time use these simple social structures:

- The Question Counterattack

Counterattack with a Question. Respond everything they say with a question.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: What’s with the attitude, did your girlfriend break up with you?

- The Expert Counterattack

This technically makes them seem like a big-know-it-all douche-bag.

The equation of this social structure start off with, “Yeah, and you would know because…” and whatever they said to you, employ it right back on them.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Yeah, and you would know because you’re the expert on stupidity.

Attacker: You’re a pussy!
You: Yeah, and you would know because you have the largest pussy hole of them all.

- The Sarcasm Counterattack

Agree and Exaggerate to the Ridiculous Extreme in sarcastic approach tone.

This is the one you can have the most fun with because you are simply just going with the flow and agreeing with the other person but exaggerating so much to the extreme that it becomes hard to take anything the interaction goes less than a joke.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Absolutely my good man! I’m the biggest stupid idiot of them that I cry about it all the time and have to see a therapist 3 time a day, everyday, every year, that the street is my home and the squirrels are my only companion because I stink and everybody hates me, except for you. You’re my new best friend of good ole buddy ole pal.

- The Clueless Counterattack

Here we have the silence of the lamb…everything they say is not processed while you stale at them with a zombie poker-face, blinking your eye, and giving them a….HMMMMM?

You don’t have to do much with this one. For those of you who like to stay non-reactive, this will probably be your favorite one but with a little added spice.

You’re just giving them a continuous blunt “Hmmm?”, with a stale-face blinking your eyes like what that person said didn’t register. Let it be apparent that you’re toying with them because you understand what they’re saying but not twitching like a statue.

They will hopefully get agitated by using so much effort and not getting the reciprocated response by your lack of attention, like it’s talking to a wall; usually they will stop, but if they don’t, fall back on the other counterattacks..

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: I said you’re a stupid screwing idiot! (getting more annoyed)
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)
Attacker: Are you deaf?
You: Hmmm? (stale-face, eyes blinking)

- The Assumptive Counterattack
Using what they say to create a ridiculous assumption about them in your favor.

Example:
Attacker: You’re a stupid idiot!
You: And you must be a world-class genius.

Now isn’t learning these social structures to these counterattacks so much better than memorizing 50 thousands clever witty comeback lines that you would probably forget?

But Gabriel, what if somebody do say “Screw you!”?

Hot Girl: Screw you!
Me: You wish. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Asshole: Screw you!
Me: If I were into dudes like you, you would be the last person.. (Assumptive Counterattack)

(Also notice here, how I redirect what the girl said to make it seem like she wants to have sex with me, but that will be a lessen for another time.)

Always focus on the other person, on the “you”, not on “I”. This way you shine the spotlight back on themselves and they will be forced to justify and defend themselves, then you’ve gotten them right where you want them to be.

Finally, here is an example of a full interaction with all these counterattacks applied, that happened to me one night when I was out talking to a girl when this attacker came up to me:

Attacker: Ewww…

Me: Awww, poor baby boo needs his mommy to clean up his “ewwwiee” mess? (Question Counterattack that makes him look pathetic)

Attacker: What’s with the shirt?

Me: Hmmm? (Clueless Counterattack)

Attacker: I said what’s with the stupid shirt!

Me: You like it. Wanna buy it? (Question Counterattack) It will look so much cuter on you. (Assumptive Counterattack)

Attacker: I ain’t gay like you!

Me: Yeah, and you would know…that would make you the the gayest one then. (Expert Counterattack that makes him the gay one instead)

Attacker: Screw you! (finally losing control)

Me: Sorry, but I have gay friends I could hook you up with. (Assumptive Counterattack)

See how as the interaction continued with this agression, his attacks continued to backfire. All I did was reflect all the attacks back on him.

Overall, let the attacker be/create/cause their own demise, with no guilt spill on you.

These social structures you have will be able to bring down the most vicious attackers, so please don’t be the conflict-illiterate with the only response “Screw you!”…you might have kids around listening.

These are my secret weapons, use them wisely.

Now that you’re verbally armed, congratulation you graduated from Social Natural Defense class.

Prepare for the Art of Conversational-Combat Jujitsu?
Last note…don’t be the become the same monster you set out to destroy.

That’s how you destroy the bully to get the girl!

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